


bad, bad, bad

by sansrival



Category: PRISTIN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Recreational Drug Use, angsty angsty!, college kids foolin' around, may or may not feature svt boys toking up...lmfao, profanity & mentions of other stuff..., rated T for almosT maTure buT noT quiTe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-21 14:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11946498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansrival/pseuds/sansrival
Summary: We were just two city kids. We would run around and tear a few things down, but that's the worst that it would get.





	1. down to make mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> here's another from the minkyebin-inspired-by-songs-i-listened-to-before-kpop-ruined-me series. just kidding...that's not a real series
> 
> inspired by we like mv lol but mostly lany's bad bad bad. cross-posted on aff :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say we're going to hell. Let's find a cheap motel and stay a couple nights.

It’s way beyond house parties with the parents gone. Hell, it’s more than storage room break-ins and restricted entrance sneak-ins.

It’s over and above anything Yebin could have ever expected, but she’s utterly intoxicated.

And despite the conscience incessantly yelling at her, she doesn’t want to sober up anytime soon.

**#**

“You’re gonna smarten up now that you’re a real college student?”

Yebin snickers. “I’ve always been smart.”

“Well, you graduated and got into college so I guess that’s gotta mean something.”

“You act like we’re all stupid when I’m not the first to do this. Don’t pretend you’re not one of us.”

Siyeon gives her a smile that Yebin is all too familiar with in all the years she has known the younger girl – sly, mischievous, and everything others don’t usually expect from her at all.

“One of you?” she raises an eyebrow for a second before straightening her back. “Please, I’m no mischief-maker anymore.”

She’s a princess, a monarch, an example of untouchable glamour. No one would ever expect her to hang out with the people she did. But Siyeon’s exterior has never been a phony façade; she’s a high maintenance girl through and through and Yebin’s always admired her ability to stay true to herself.

“Noted, Park Siyeon.” Yebin buckles the straps of her half helmet under her chin as she swings a leg over her motorcycle. “Let me know the next time your parents are away on business trips. I’ll zoom right over.”

“Maybe, but I’ve matured, you know,” Siyeon says with a chuckle. “Stay out of trouble, okay?”

Yebin revs the bike in a show of bold self-confidence. “I can’t promise you that.”

I’m serious!” Siyeon purses her lips and gives Yebin a hug. “Thanks for stopping by.”

“Of course.”

“Say hi to Minkyung for me?”

Yebin grins excitedly. “Will do.”

They exchange a few more parting words before Yebin rides away. Siyeon stands on the street watching her until she disappears into a corner.

“You’d follow and go to the ends of the earth for her, huh?” Siyeon mutters to herself as she sighs.

Yebin’s tenacious loyalty has always been one of her strongest suits – and most unfortunate weakness likewise.

**#**

Yebin stands outside the door fidgeting with her keys as and tapping her foot impatiently. Her eyes bounce back and forth from her phone to the number on the door.

_Is this the right place?_

Minkyung had texted her the address of her home, which unexpectedly took Yebin several detours and abrupt stops at parking lots to fish out a map and re-calibrate her old GPS.

Finally, she arrived at a modest condominium off the busy main road. She chides herself when she realizes that she had been circling the place the entire time. 

But who could blame her? Wealthy Kim Minkyung living in a humble one-bedroom in a two-storey? Yebin kept her eye out for a luxury high-rise, not a building that might as well be mistaken for a decent motel. You know, the ones with free WiFi and railings that aren’t rusted; motels that looked as if maintenance actually cared for the place.

Nevertheless, it’s very unlike Minkyung. Yebin debates texting her again to ask if she’s at the right place, but just as she was about to leave, the door swings open.

And there she stands in all her glory; a whole one hundred and seventy-two centimetres tall ( _she’s grown taller the last time I saw her…)_ , long hair cascading over her shoulders ( _she dyed it black?)_ , and sharp eyes. Something in her demeanor has shifted ( _is it in her eyes? The makeup?_ ) but then she smiles and Yebin knows it’s her.

It’s the same smile she has been dying to see in person again for over a year.

Before Yebin could even react, Minkyung hauls her into a tight hug. Yebin is pulled face first into the crook of her neck and she gets a whiff of her cantaloupe shampoo ( _I thought she didn’t like fruity scents)_. She feels Minkyung’s laughter rumble through her chest as she’s tugged into the apartment.

Yebin returns the comforting embrace, not wanting to let go any time soon.

“Kang Yebin, I’ve missed you soooo much!” Minkyung roars. Grasping Yebin’s shoulders, she leans in and stares right into her eyes. Yebin almost falters at the dark brown eyes. “Hey, have you gotten shorter since the last time I saw you?”

Yebin laughs as she lets her hands drop to the small of Minkyung’s back. “No! But you’ve definitely gotten taller.”

Minkyung draws her in to another hug as they sway back and forth in the living room. Yebin ignores the pain in her cheeks as the corners of her lips stretch into a huge grin.

Minkyung makes sure to let her know how delighted she is at their long-awaited reunion and Yebin couldn’t be any happier.

Hearing Minkyung's voice through calls and reading her messages through texts is nothing compared to seeing her in real life.

Yebin's been missing her so much, it kept her up at night. 

**#**

“Black hair looks good on you. It’s pretty.”

Minkyung smiles at the compliment.

Only when she has settled on the couch with a can of soda does Yebin finally take the opportunity to glance around.

“Nice place.”

It comes out more half-hearted than she had intended, but well, it _is_ a nice place, just not one she’d expect to find Minkyung in.

“Gee, _thanks_.” Minkyung chuckles. “It’s small, but comfortable. It feels like a secret hideout at times and it’s sort of thrilling. I feel like a runaway.”

Yebin smirks. “You got all that sentiment from a place that could be mistaken for a bed and breakfast?”

“That’s exactly why I like the place,” Minkyung says with a smile.

 

It’s unusual, Yebin would admit. The Minkyung she knew in high school liked name brands and designer clothing, flaunted her affluence in sly subtlety, and, whenever her parents would be away, hosted parties at her swanky estate that would be talked about in school for a whole week.

Minkyung was untouchable in high school. She was a paragon of charm and charisma, radiating an allure that had any girl viciously envious of everything she had and was. You either wanted to be her or be with her.

Now Yebin revels in her own pride, so she’s always been the latter. She stuck by Minkyung unconditionally in all her mischief and exploits. Together, they were a dynamic duo; like Batman and Robin – or rather, Bonnie and Clyde.

Hopping fences into public pools at dark desolate hours, sneaking into Itaewon clubs even if they were underage, balancing on railways hand in hand at sunset and jumping out of the way just before a train would pass, breaking into storage rooms and skipping classes in pursuit of greater fun.

But it was always just harmless trouble-making by a pair of carefree teenagers. Minkyung kept up a clean image for her parents and Yebin always found keeping secrets electrifying.

It wasn’t really all that surprising when Yebin, always reckless, fell for her.

And she fell hard, head on like a train collision.

Minkyung went through friends as if they were unimportant pages in a phonebook, but Yebin was one of the few that she kept around. With Yebin being treated as if she was a favourite, curious noses suspected the depth of their relationship anyways.

The casual skinship, moments of comfortable silences they could share, the carnal tension after petty arguments broke out, and all those supposedly platonic and playful kisses shared in juvenile games of spin the bottle…it must’ve meant something, at least? A spark? A fire within? Was Yebin wrong to wonder?

So Yebin, always reckless, wasted no time in expressing her feelings. She had nothing to lose.

And to her surprise, Minkyung received them rather easily. However, it didn’t mean she returned them.

But being wrecked by a mere broken heart goes against everything Yebin believed in. She’s far too poised and proud to let unreturned confessions break her.

So she received it with a smile and a nice try sticker. All this time, she had made herself believe she was over it, but no, not entirely. She’s just learnt how to take failures and turn them into fuel.

Their escapades may have halted when Minkyung graduated and moved away for college, but Yebin’s desire for thrill never faded. Minkyung left a bit of her spirit before she left and soon enough, Yebin was the one dragging her friends out for midnight visits to the local pool.

She continued as her carefree self with a close-knit group of friends (Siyeon, far too glamorous to be hanging out with her; Jieqiong, a pretty girl who just seemed to be in it for the ride; Eunwoo, always up for anything and everything), but Minkyung always was and still is Yebin’s golden girl.

She’s a cut above the rest, unrivaled in Yebin’s heart.

 

“What have you been up to?”

“Nothing much. Working. Eating. Partying. Sleeping. And soon, school. Rinse and repeat.” Minkyung bustles around in the kitchen and Yebin can hear the clatter of plates and the refrigerator opening and closing repeatedly. Minkyung abruptly emerges from the kitchen. “Are you hungry? I can make you something.”

Yebin snickers. “You can cook?”

“I’d like to think so. When you’re living by yourself, you kinda have to learn how,” Minkyung says sheepishly.

“It’s alright. I ate before I came here.”

Minkyung walks over and plops down on the spot beside Yebin, wrapping her long arm around the shorter girl’s shoulders.

“I’ll take you out to a nice restaurant I know and we can have a little date.”

Yebin can already feel the warmth escalating in her cheeks. “I’d love that.”

“In the meantime, I know you just got here, but are you in the mood for a party tonight?”

Now that sounds like the Minkyung she knows and loves. Yebin grins. “Hell yeah.”

**#**

Yebin is embarrassed to admit that she’s never been to a _real_ party before – the kind that begins when the rest of the city has gone to sleep, the kind with strangers in a place she’s never been to.

All the ones she went to in high school had a sense of familiarity, whether it was the fact that it was at a classmate’s house or with people she saw everyday in class. That didn’t make them any less tame, no, Yebin’s been to many that ended with cops demanding the party to be shut down.

But _this_. This was a brand new experience. The school year hasn’t even started yet and Yebin’s already being whisked into a college party.

For one thing, the location. It's not some neighbourhood home. 

Minkyung had brought her to a warehouse. Fenced off with police tape and surrounded by overgrown weeds, it’s a hell of a sketchy place. Yebin wavers as they approach the group of men standing by a gap in the fence. But when Minkyung smiles at her and grabs her hand, second thoughts move to the back of her head. She doesn’t even notice how easily Minkyung gets them in.

And the moment she steps in to the warehouse, Yebin feels like she's been transported into a whole nother world.

Headache-inducing strobe lights, loud music that rattle her bones, an overwhelming scent of booze and sweat that makes her want to turn back. There’s an unfamiliar face every way she turns and bottles and cans keep being shoved into her hands by strangers.

Minkyung feels the hand she’s holding onto tighten and another hand reaching to clutch her arm. She turns her head to find Yebin looking at her, wide-eyed like a child. She pulls the girl towards a row of steel drums being used as a makeshift bar, where there are less people and less chaos.

She dips her head and brings her lips near Yebin’s ear. “Are you okay?”

Yebin could only manage a nod. She flusters at Minkyung’s sudden closeness. She is _not_ drunk enough for this.

“Can we have something to drink?” she shouts back at Minkyung, who then promptly waves down the young bartender.

A drink is handed to her by slender fingers and Yebin quickly ushers them to a toast. She downs the drink to find Minkyung smirking at her.

Emboldened by the liquid courage, Yebin grabs both of Minkyung’s hands and pulls her to the dancefloor.

She remembers the words Minkyung said to her in high school when she brought Yebin to her first party all that time ago.

 _Go out, get drunk, have a great time_.

Said like a frat boy reading off a poster in the basement of his house.

**#**

Yebin has never passed out and woken up in a place she doesn’t recognize before. Her head throbs in the worse headache she’s ever had and her body feels like it’s weighed down by boulders. She can’t tell if it’s from the hangover or from the fear of unfamiliarity. 

Her head spins as she tries to look around. Realizing she’s on a bed, Yebin clutches on to the sheets and pulls herself up with much effort. God, she’s never felt this hungover in her life. She feels like someone took a swing at her head.

As her vision clears, her surroundings become clearer. It’s a bedroom. There’s an incredibly large and daunting poster of _Fish Species of Hangang_ on the wall looking like a page straight out of a fisherman’s guide.

Um, alright. Strange poster aside, dread sinks in as Yebin rushes out of the room in search of Minkyung. The cynical side of her _really_ wishes she hasn't been kidnapped because that'd be one hell of a nightmare. 

Yebin doesn’t see a single soul in the apartment until she reaches the living room and sees a redhead sleeping on the couch.

Minkyung does not have red hair that reminds Yebin of raspberry wine ( _or did I have too much drink?_ ). Where on earth is the girl? Just as Yebin is starting to panic, she sees movement beyond the closed curtains covering a sliding door.

Approaching cautiously, she lifts the curtain just enough for a peek.

A wave of relief washes over her when she sees the familiar profile on the porch; the upturned corner of lips she has spent too much time staring at, the nose, and the black bangs.

Yebin slides the door open.

“You’re up,” Minkyung greets her.

“My head is killing me– oh.” Yebin belatedly notices there’s another person with Minkyung.

Hair as dark as Minkyung’s cropped to just under her jawline and tucked behind one ear, she too towers above Yebin.

Minkyung notices Yebin’s flustered stare. “Yebin, this is Kyungwon.”

Kyungwon transfers her wine glass to the other hand as she stretches her palm out for a handshake, which Yebin takes gingerly.

“Nice to meet you.” Yebin switches her tentative gaze to Minkyung. “Is this her place…?”

Minkyung nods. “She’s a...good friend of mine.” 

Yebin doesn’t miss the look Minkyung briefly exchanges with Kyungwon as she said those words. She doesn’t miss the sly smile, the fleeting playfulness of it, and the scrunch of Minkyung’s nose.

Kyungwon snickers. "Way to be subtle."

Yebin shifts on her feet and gives Kyungwon a cordial smile. Suddenly becoming hyperaware of the throbbing vein on her temple, Yebin excuses herself as she feels the onset of a migraine.

Her head hurts far too much to think further about Minkyung and Kyungwon and whatever it is they _possibly_ have with each other.

**#**

Yebin learns that she got far too ambitious at the warehouse party and drank as many colourful drinks as the bartender could whip up for her. She reminds herself to repay Minkyung for paying for all the drinks she doesn’t remember ordering.

Yebin also learns that Minkyung was too drunk to drive them home so she called up Kyungwon, her “good friend” who Uber’d her way over and took them back to her place like some saviour. Yebin had passed out and was left to rest in Kyungwon’s room, the one with the unnerving fish poster.

She learns the girl sleeping on the couch was Nayoung, Kyungwon’s roommate whom Yebin exchanged very few words with. She found the older girl to be too intimidating and looking like she didn’t want to talk to Yebin anyways.

What Yebin hasn’t learned is what’s between Minkyung and Kyungwon. They’re _friends_ as Minkyung said so, but Yebin senses something more. However, something in her prevents her from wanting to wonder about it. But something’s up. Something akin to the enigma she shared with Minkyung during their best years of high school.

Yebin doesn’t feel too great about it.

**#**

“Hey, remember that time we raced Eunwoo and Jieqiong in the carts we stole from the custodian’s closet?”

Yebin feels the tremor of laughter against the back of her head as Minkyung lets out a sweet chuckle.

From her propped elbow, the raven-haired girl looks down at Yebin resting against her stomach. “You mean when you grazed your elbows because I turned a corner too sharply and you flew off?”

Yebin grins at the memory. She remembers crying that day, but not from the pain. She laughed so much, tears fell from her eyes.

“Hmm, what about that time we snuck onto the roof of Hansol’s place? We looked at the stars.”

“Did we? How romantic,” Minkyung hums.

“Or that time I showed up to your place on my bike in the middle of the night with ice cream because you told me you were craving it and you couldn’t sleep.”

“That was amazing.”

“You remember, don’t you?”

“Now I do. How do you remember all of these?”

“They’re precious memories,” Yebin says with a content sigh.

She feels fingers pinch her cheek.

“You’re so cute,” Minkyung says to her as she lies back and closes her eyes.

Yebin notices her dozing off just a few moments later and chuckles to herself.

Unable to erase the meek grin off her face, Yebin watches the steady rise and fall of Minkyung’s chest until she too nods off to sleep on the floor of Minkyung’s living room.

**#**

“Are you up for some fun?”

The question could pass off as innocent, if not for the wild look Minkyung gives her. Yebin recognizes the glint in her eye; it’s the same that she used to see just before Minkyung would grab her by the arms and pull her in to whatever mischief she was going to cause.

Yebin’s lips curl into a smirk. “Adventure still surges through my veins like heroin, Minkyung.”

A snicker escapes from Minkyung’s mouth at the simile. She has always admired Yebin’s way with words.

“I suppose it was a rhetorical question then.”

Minkyung pulls a dark cap and a black facemask from behind her back and puts them in Yebin’s hands.

“What’s this for?”

“Put it on. It’s a surprise.”

Minkyung’s peculiar smirk puzzles Yebin, but something about it urges her to comply anyways. Slender fingers intertwine with hers as an equally covered up Minkyung pulls her out of bed.

 

Yebin had ceased asking where they were headed after the first few minutes of driving. The only answers Minkyung ever gave were roundabout responses that were ambiguous and never lead Yebin to a real answer.

Instead, she has retreated to staring out the window. They’re tinted, which Yebin immediately noticed. She has seen Minkyung’s car before in pictures.

(Recalling the garage in Minkyung’s family home and its plethora of luxury cars, Yebin has always wondered why Minkyung bought a car for herself – and an older model at that – when she could be using one of her father’s.)

And in those pictures, Yebin clearly remembers the windows having no tint. When Yebin asked her about it though, all she got was a hum and a _‘so people don’t see me jamming to trot while I drive’_ in reply.

Weird. Minkyung used to hate trot. But Yebin takes her word for it with an amused snort anyways.

 

“I was planning to do this the first night you came, but I forgot there was a party that day,” Minkyung tells her.

They pull up to an empty parking lot lit by a single streetlight that doesn’t shine bright enough.

Yebin shudders at the memory of the warehouse party. It’s still a blur to her to this day. She’s never drank and lost her mind that much before.

“Where are we?”

Yebin squints her eyes. It’s difficult enough to try and see through tinted windows, even harder when it’s a pitch-black night on the other side.

Minkyung turns off her car. “Put on the hat and the facemask. Can’t let your face be seen on the cameras.”

Yebin spins around just in time to see the other girl putting up her hood. Yebin uneasily shifts in her seat. She should’ve figured something was up the moment she saw they were both dressed in dark clothing.

“Shit...we’re not robbing a bank, are we?”

A silvery laugh fills the silence of the car. Yebin can’t bring herself to laugh along as a thousand thoughts run through her head, but Minkyung has a knack for making her feel comfortable without even trying.

“No,” Minkyung answers, to which Yebin breathes out a sigh of relief she never noticed she was holding. “But you’re close.”

Yebin stiffens again. So much for that relief, it was like a transient cold spell. “What?”

“We need to celebrate our fated reunion and also your new life as a college student.” She leans over the console, close enough until Yebin could smell her perfume at the base of her neck. “And what’s a celebration without…?”

Yebin doesn’t budge when Minkyung comes closer. “Uh...balloons?”

She tries to keep her eyes from wandering to Minkyung’s lips, but fails the moment a corner of Minkyung’s mouth lifts into a cheeky smirk. Yebin swallows.

“No, silly. _Fireworks_. And we’re here to get some the fun and free way.”

Minkyung reaches into the backseat for a backpack, but Yebin grabs her arm just before she could leave the car.

“You’re into breaking and entering stores now?” Yebin asks with a scoff, though she’s not entirely surprised.

Minkyung looks at her with those charming brown eyes and Yebin wonders, hell, even if she were to get caught, how could you place handcuffs on such a pretty girl like her?

“Well, it’s a far cry from bank robbery, no?”

“Eh. Not really…”

“It’s okay, Yebin. It’s just a fireworks store. It’ll just be like all those times we broke into storage rooms in high school. Or when we hopped over the fence of the community pool.”

A wave of nostalgia comes crashing down on Yebin. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss those days when it was just her and Minkyung against the world. Something about the glint in Minkyung’s eye is enticing. The older girl reaches over and moves Yebin’s facemask to cover her nose and mouth.

“So, what do you say?”

Yebin pushes all uncertainty to the back of her mind.

“Okay. Let’s go rob a store then.”

Siyeon’s brief warning flashes in her head ( _stay out of trouble_ ), but it goes unheeded.

Hell, for old times’ sake.

 

Constant anxiety. Jitters from her toes all the way to the ends of her hair. Is it stress? Or adrenaline?

Yebin can’t really tell, but she doesn’t say anything and listens to Minkyung the entire time. She notices the swiftness of Minkyung's fingers as she picks locks open; it certainly doesn’t seem like her first time breaking into somewhere.

Minkyung tells her something about how it’s an old store and the owner doesn’t bother fixing the security system, but Yebin’s too busy worrying about the blinking red light on the security cameras to listen. She feels a gentle hand curl around the back of her neck and a soft quiet voice emerge in the dark.

“Keep your head down.”

 

They don’t steal a whole lot. Just enough to fill Minkyung’s small bag. Yebin would even be surprised if the owner were to notice a few fireworks disappear from his inventory overnight.

But it was exhilarating nonetheless and Yebin really can’t keep her wild laughter of disbelief down inside Minkyung’s car.

“Holy shit, did we just rob a store?” Yebin exclaims as they speed down a vacant road. 

Minkyung grins as she catches a glance of Yebin. “And now we celebrate.”

She tunes in to a late-night station on the radio as Yebin’s roaring laughter echoes against the smooth voice of a crooner singing about a couple of foolhardy kids running around the city.

 

Yebin squeals to the bang of the fireworks as colourful sparks shoot up in the dark. It’s a small display that doesn’t last too long, but it's enough to light up the starless sky and put a euphoric grin on Yebin’s face.

As the subsequent smoke fades away into the dark, Yebin doesn’t even have enough time to come down from her high when Minkyung ushers her back towards the car.

She tells her they should get away before someone comes up to the hill wondering who the _hell_ is setting off fireworks in the dead of the night.

 

Yebin gazes at Minkyung as she drives, humming to some unfamiliar tune on the radio. There’s a sense of comforting familiarity in everything happening around her. She can’t help but surrender to the contentment.

There may be physical aspects about Minkyung that have changed, like the colour of her hair or the way she dresses (edgier, thriftier...high school Minkyung would be appalled).

But beyond that, Yebin can see traces of the old Minkyung. The same old glimmer in her eye and mischievous smirk, the same old wild side veiled by her demeanor. The same old affinity for risky thrills and spirited thirst for adventure.

But she knows a lot can happen in a year. Yebin’s always thought she knew Minkyung best, but she feels like there are certain things being kept from her.

Perhaps she can just turn a blind eye and give Minkyung the benefit of the doubt. It’s the safer road after all.

Because another thing that hasn’t changed is how her heart lurches with every contact they make; the fluttering in her stomach when Minkyung would look at her a certain way.

And Yebin doesn’t want to do anything that could risk losing something she had been missing for a year. 


	2. might've gone too far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was just a crush, but wild and dangerous.

They say ignorance is bliss.

So Yebin would rather not know about the small locked box she finds beneath Minkyung’s bed. Or the safe in her closet.

Not that it’s strange to secure valuables, but Minkyung’s always been a pretty open book, especially to Yebin. Her entire class in senior year and all her friends probably knew her locker combination. Yebin surely did.

Yebin would also rather not know about the prescription pills, saline bottles, and multiple sticks of Vicks vapor inhalers in the bathroom drawer.

Not that any of those are unusual things to have in a bathroom, but there’s a little too many of each considering only one person lives in the apartment.

Rather than thinking about the possibilities, Yebin dismisses them and returns to the living room. She isn’t supposed to be snooping around anyways; she just wanted to clean up the place while Minkyung was gone.

**#**

Minkyung comes back with a thick envelope and a bag of groceries.

“Sorry to keep you waiting. I thought I’d stopped by for some food on the way home.”

While she retreats to her room, Yebin takes the liberty of unpacking the groceries. 

“I hope you don’t mind that I cleaned up a bit,” Yebin says sheepishly when the older girl returns.

Minkyung grins. “So that’s what felt different. I saw that you made my bed. You probably think I live in a pig sty, don’t you?”

“No!” Yebin chuckles. “Not at all. It’s just like any other apartment of a college student. Nothing surprising or out of place.”

They exchange smiles and Minkyung’s is too warm and faultless for Yebin to suspect anything.

**#**

“Are you guys dating?”

“No!”

“You practically live together.”

“We don’t! I have a dorm room on campus. Minkyung just lets me come over a lot.”

Yebin sees Eunwoo smirk at her on the screen. It's just as irritating on the laptop as it is in real life. 

“Just ask her out again if you like her so much,” Siyeon chirps off-camera.

Yebin chews on her bottom lip. “I don’t know if she likes me like that.”

“Well you’ll never know if you don’t ask h–”

“Where is she? Let me see her!” Jieqiong interjects and suddenly pops into view, shoving Eunwoo aside. Pushing glasses up the bridge of her nose, she leans into the screen as if getting a closer look would make Minkyung appear.

“She’s in the bathroom taking a shower.”

Speak of the devil, the bathroom door opens not a second later and out steps Minkyung in nothing but a towel. Yebin swallows thickly.

“Let me get changed first!” she shouts before disappearing into her bedroom.

Unfortunately, Yebin had momentarily forgotten that she was on video call and her expression couldn't be missed by the prying eyes of the impudent trio on the other end of the call.

“Hey! Kang Yebin!”

“Did you just see her naked or something?”

“Stop ogling, pervert!”

Her friends' unwelcomed remarks and roaring laughter from the laptop jerks her out of her daze. Yebin whines for them to stop with a sheepish pout. If she knew all they’d do is tease, she wouldn’t have agreed to a video call in the first place.

Eunwoo snickers. “If you stare that obviously, Minkyung would’ve _surely_ noticed by now.”

Minkyung emerges from her bedroom, now fully dressed and not dripping wet much to Yebin’s relief. She can only send the three subtle warning glares when Minkyung plops down on the couch beside her.

“What are you guys laughing at?” Minkyung says with a chuckle.

“Eunwoo’s just being an idiot.” The screen turns abruptly to Siyeon’s wide grin. “Minkyung! We miss you _sooo_ much!”

Eunwoo grabs the laptop so it's facing her again, ignoring Siyeon's childish groan in the background. “Minkyung, how have you been? Hey, treat Yebin to a date sometime, alright? She’s a girl with needs, if you know what I mean.”

Yebin winces. If only she could reach through the screen and stuff a sock into Eunwoo’s mouth. Maybe then she’d know how to shut her presumptuous trap every once in a while.

“Is that so?” Minkyung cheekily replies, catching a glimpse of the girl beside her with a subtly lifted eyebrow.

Under Minkyung’s glance and her friends’ teasing laughter, Yebin tries to keep herself from blushing.

She feels like she’s back in high school all over again.

**#**

Yebin doesn’t want to admit that she wants to thank Eunwoo, but well, she wants to thank Eunwoo. The girl is the living embodiment of arrogance and Yebin would rather not inflate her head any larger than it already is, but she’s got to hand it to her. Eunwoo knows when to flat-out shove wherever a push wouldn't have been enough.

Because Minkyung has indeed taken Yebin out to two dates – or at least, Yebin would like to think so. Minkyung never actually called them dates so Yebin didn’t dare utter the word once, but she’s satisfied interpreting them the way she wants to.

First, a picnic at the Han River (in which Yebin would argue is an ideal date place and come on, a picnic?) and another at a fishing reservoir (Kyungwon’s idea of a “fun hangout” in which her and Nayoung actually tagged along, but Yebin got to team up with Minkyung and that’s enough for her to declare it a double date).

Yebin gives optimism a try because if all their fleeting glances and exchanges of easy smiles mean anything, then she’ll eagerly jump on the chance for another shot at the possibility of them; Yebin & Minkyung, Minkyung & Yebin. Versus the world. 

**#**

“ _Ack_ , gross, that didn’t go down very well.”

Yebin slams the shot glass on the coffee table with unwavering conviction.

“Here’s to completing your first week of college.” Minkyung taps Yebin’s flushed cheek with the lip of a bottle before taking a swig.

“Are we gonna do this every week? I won’t mind. We can cheers to completing my seventeenth week of college and my twentieth, my thirtieth, my thirty-second…hell, we can celebrate everyday.”

When Minkyung had told her they had to celebrate, a rebellious part of Yebin wished they would go out and break into a store again.

But to the rest of her, a night of exultant drinking sounded a whole lot more ideal and realistic. Much to her relief and expectations, Minkyung is treating her to just that.

And the best part is that they’re not at a bar or at someone’s house surrounded by Minkyung’s college friends and strangers. They’re alone at Minkyung’s place, just the two of them with the much-needed alcohol and a greatest hits compilation of some singer from the 90s playing in the background like a soundtrack to a coming-of-age romance.

It’s everything Yebin had hoped for and more; an upgraded version of what they used to do in high school without all the tip-toeing, the stealing of alcohol from the wine cabinet of Minkyung’s dad, and Yebin’s parents calling her every thirty minutes to remind her of curfew. All the adolescent scheming that pale in comparison to the college life they've completely and utterly thrown themselves into. 

“Let’s do a love shot of champagne,” Minkyung suggests, handing Yebin a glass of clear golden liquid.

They hook arms and Yebin catches the twinkle in Minkyung’s eye under the dimmed lights. Her head feels faint and she knows she’s drunk even without the telltale sign of slurring in her words.

“Cheers.”

They clink glasses and a bit of champagne spills over the edge onto Yebin’s hand.

It would’ve gone ignored if not for something Minkyung does that completely jolts Yebin into sobriety if that was even possible.

Minkyung dips her head and kisses Yebin’s hand where the drops had landed, her lips moving across the skin where the champagne had trickled.

Yebin can’t bring herself to do anything but stare in awe.

She’s not sure if it’s all the alcohol she has consumed, but she’s suddenly overly aware of everything.

Yebin feels every hair on her arms stand in goosebumps; hears the beating of her heart suddenly amplify over the muffled sounds from the speakers; tastes the bitterness of the previous shot when she subconsciously runs a tongue over her lip; smells the scent of Minkyung’s lip gloss; sees the scarlet tint of her cheeks emanating heat.

Minkyung would never do this sober. Was it deliberate? Or is this a new drunken habit of hers? Catching spilled alcohol on people’s skin? Kissing hands?

Or kissing lips, apparently, when Yebin unexpectedly feels a pair of lips against hers and she’s so taken aback, that her head starts spinning faster than it already was.

Minkyung tastes of peaches and stars, fruity and intoxicating all at the same time.

And Yebin can’t tell if it’s the champagne or the gloss she’s tasting off her lips, but she finds herself savoring and kissing back naturally as if this was always meant to happen.

They move soft and slow, arms still hooked and champagne glasses still in hands. Yebin’s already too far off the deep end so she offers herself completely to Minkyung.

Because this is real and it’s happening and Yebin’s waited for this moment for far too long to ruin it with her carelessness.

The glass is taken out of her hand and she’s pushed to the carpeted floor before she could even react. They part for a breath and Yebin finally gets a chance to look at Minkyung. She finds a pair of dark obscure eyes staring back.

Yebin expected to see the cosmos, not an abyss.

But she gets lost in them anyways.

Her eyes flutter close at the feeling of soft lips ghosting over her jaw, sending a current running under her skin. A spark is ignited at the pit of her stomach when she feels Minkyung’s fingertips trace the waistband of her shorts.

Yebin lets her hands wander to Minkyung’s waist and under her shirt as she gives herself up in every way.

She holds on tight because if not, Yebin feels like Minkyung will slip right past her fingertips.

**#**

Yebin pinches herself just to make sure that she has not drifted into dream world and that whatever happened in the past couple hours _really_ happened.

But she feels vulnerable under the bed sheets (somehow, they made it to the bedroom), her cheeks are still flushed, and the figure sleeping soundlessly beside her is equally vulnerable and equally flushed.

Yebin pinches herself again and again because she really can’t believe it happened. She has waited years and although she didn’t expect it to happen like this, Yebin smiles because Minkyung’s the only person she’s ever considered.

Yebin goes to sleep absolutely delighted as she relishes in the last remnants of euphoria that haven’t left.

**#**

“…and then this white girl started throwing up _everywhe_ – Yebin? Are you even listening to me?”

Yebin hasn’t been able to stop distractedly grinning since she opened FaceTime, leaving Jieqiong to wonder what’s got the girl looking like a kid on Christmas morning while she's trying to explain her eventful college social life thus far.

“Okay, fess up already,” Jieqiong groans. “Did you put a little too much sugar in your coffee this morning? Is that chicken place having a ten-piece-meal-for-the-price-of-five deal? Did Minkyung ask you out on a date? What’s up?”

“We fucked.”

Jieqiong’s eyes go wide at the profane remark as she suddenly reaches for a pair of earphones and hurriedly plugs them into her phone.

“Hey, I’m in the library!”

Yebin watches her cautiously looking around. “Why are you facetiming me in the library?”

Eyes dart back to the screen as Jieqiong glares her down. “I was studying. _You’re_ the one who called _me_.”

“Oh right…but weren't you just talking about girls throwing up like three seconds ago?”

Jieqiong ignores the question with a dismissing roll of her eyes. “Are you going to explain to me how on earth you and Minkyung escalated like that?”

“We were both drunk.”

Jieqiong sighs and rests her chin on her palm. “Of course. Should’ve figured.”

“I was drunk, but I remember every moment vividly. It was like a dream.”

She hears Jieqiong snicker. “Are you sure it wasn’t?”

“It happened!” Yebin lets out a content sigh. “I’m really happy but...what does this mean now?”

Jieqiong straightens her back as she lets out a disbelieving scoff. “Duh? Shouldn’t you two get together now? Call it official? Or what, are you gonna continue casually sleeping together? Because I strongly advise against that. No offence, but you would _not_ survive a no-strings-attached type of relationship with her.”

Yebin accepts the bombarding questions and remarks with a wince, as if every word falling from Jieqiong’s mouth was like a punch to her gut. She groans. 

“What do I do?”

“Talk to her, dummy! God, what are you, fifteen? Get it together, Kang Yebin,” Jieqiong shakes her head. “I gotta go. Best of luck.”

**#**

Yebin wishes she had asked Jieqiong for advice on how to bring up ‘so, about us sleeping together…’ casually, but unfortunately, she’s been left to her own devices and courage.

She had showed up rather abruptly at Minkyung’s place and as she watches Minkyung pace in the kitchen, she can tell the other girl was not prepared for her visit. Which is strange, considering Minkyung doesn’t really need to ‘prepare’ anything whenever Yebin comes over.

“Minkyung? Are you okay?”

That gets her to stop pacing. She spins to face Yebin. “Oh? Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Did you, uh, want to talk about something?”

Minkyung walks over and plops down on the recliner across from Yebin.

“Yeah, actually. The other night…” Yebin pauses for a cautious glance at Minkyung and finds her looking at her expectantly, without a change in her expression or demeanor. For a second, Yebin panics because what if Minkyung doesn’t even remember what they did, how far away is the door and how fast can she dash out of this apartment in shame? “Do you remember when we drank together the other night?”

Minkyung smiles and Yebin visibly relaxes. “Of course I do.”

“So you remember that we…”

“Slept together? I know, Yebin. You don’t need to tiptoe around it,” Minkyung says with a chuckle. She sniffles with a rub of her nose.

“Oh, okay. Nice. That’s really...really good to hear.” Yebin lets herself smile. “Because it was my first time.”

The easy smile on Minkyung’s lips falter. “Wait, what? You were a virgin? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Yebin blinks at the forward question and Minkyung's sudden change in attitude as she shifts uneasily in her seat. “We were drunk, it didn’t really come up...and I mean, I don’t think it matters anyways–”

“Of course it matters.”

Yebin opens her mouth to reply but finds that she doesn’t have anything to say. So all she can do is fidget and tense up as she watches Minkyung stiffen in her seat, her smile now replaced by an ambiguous countenance.

And Yebin will taste blood if she bites on her lip any harder because she can’t read Minkyung’s expression for the life of her and it's killing her inside. 

“You should’ve told me…” Minkyung finally says.

“I-I’m sorry.”

Minkyung avoids her eye contact and Yebin feels something tie up into a knot in her stomach.

“Don’t be sorry. I should be the one saying that...”

“What? Why?”

Minkyung shakes her head. “Um, nothing, it’s not important.” She looks around distractedly before rising from her seat. “I have a class in ten minutes. Uh, you can stay here if you’d like, but I won’t be back for a while. So you should probably...probably go back to your dorm or something.”

She retreats to her room before Yebin could even get up from her seat and do anything.

Yebin tries not to recoil at the dread creeping up on her. That was not the reaction she had expected, but considering they were both drunk anyways, should she really be surprised? What was the big deal?

Grabbing her things, Yebin runs out of the apartment without even a goodbye.

**#**

The tall redhead is clearly startled by Yebin’s surprise visit when she opens the door.

Yebin had let curiosity and unease eat her from within and after several insomniac nights in a row and a sudden drought of communication between her and Minkyung, Yebin finally had enough. She's in urgent need of answers.

“Hi Nayoung.” 

Yebin’s foot impatiently taps the floor as she itches to just enter the apartment, but she forces herself to wait until she’s invited in.

“Oh. Hi,” Nayoung answers apprehensively, still clearly taken aback. “I’m really sorry, I know who you are– you’re Minkyung’s friend– but I can’t remember your name right now–”

“It’s Yebin,” she hurriedly answers, too occupied with more important thoughts to feel offended at her name being forgotten. “Can I come in?”

 

Nayoung’s poor attempt at cleaning up the apartment by shoving papers and magazines into haphazard piles and hastily moving empty coffee mugs from tables to the sink has Yebin standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room, unsure if she should help clean up or sit down. Nayoung was clearly not expecting this social call and from _Yebin_ of all people, who's practically a stranger.

“Can I help you with something?” Nayoung finally asks her.

“I wanted to ask about Kyungwon and Minkyung and you’re the only person I thought of to come to so…”

“What about them?”

Yebin fidgets with her fingers because Nayoung already seems frightening enough when they’re with other people, but one-on-one has Yebin almost speechless at her intimidation.

“Is something going on between them…? Like, do you sense any...”

Nayoung purses her lips with a shake of her head. “No, I don’t think so," she rubs the back of her neck, "but uh, sometimes they spend nights together, if you know what I mean...”

Yebin blinks. “What?”

“Oh…you don’t know? Not that it’s very surprising. I don’t know if they still, um, do it but…” Nayoung shifts on her feet, clearly uncomfortable with the topic of conversation. She has never discussed her roommate’s personal life before; it was never her business. “Look, I only know what I’ve heard and what they've told me, which is very vague. I’m not really sure why you’ve come to me about this. You might get better answers if you talk to them directly.”

“So they’re not _together_ together? As in dating...?”

“No, as far as I know. Commitment doesn’t seem like either of their thing, really. They’re just casual.”

Seeing Yebin visibly stunned and baffled, Nayoung feels a sudden pang of sympathy for the girl.

“Are you...okay? Did something happen between you and Minkyung or Kyungwon?” Nayoung asks. “Look, if Kyungwon did something stupid that made you mad, please forgive her. She’s not a bad person, she's just a bit clumsy and thoughtless at times...” because this wouldn’t be the first time Nayoung cleans up after Kyungwon’s made a mess–

“No, no, she didn’t do anything,” Yebin cuts in.

“Hey, whatever it is that happened, don’t take it too seriously. The both of them can be skittish and a bit temperamental at times, Minkyung especially…”

Yebin’s eyes dart to Nayoung. “What about Minkyung?”

“I wish I could help with whatever’s on your mind, but I’m not the right person to talk about this with.”

Yebin purses her lips, but she has already asked too big of a favour by showing up here unannounced. “Okay. I’m sorry for dropping by without notice, thanks for letting me talk to you.”

Nayoung gives her an understanding nod. “I don’t know you very well, but you seem like a sensible person. Just be careful and understanding. It’s always best to keep an open mind.”

Nayoung’s warning doesn’t go unheard and has Yebin even more perplexed than she already was. So Kyungwon and Minkyung are potential friends with benefits and though upsetting, what’s more to understand? It’s not like Yebin lives under a rock.

She nods goodbye and scurries out of the apartment.

The knot in her stomach tightens with every passing day, getting harder and harder to untie at every new information that comes her way.

**#**

For the second time today, Yebin finds herself fidgeting in front of a door unannounced. She knocks as the sole of her sneakers tap impatiently against the pavement in time with the beating of her heart.

She paces from the door to the railing and looks out. Minkyung’s place was on the second floor and had a spectacularly mundane view of a parking lot with hatchbacks and an identical building across the lot. It’s deserted and so lifeless, even more so in the dark, that Yebin can see why Minkyung’s thirst for adventure and thrill would flourish in such a monotonous setting.

Yebin still wonders why Minkyung chose to live here of all places. She could have all the luxurious suites she could ever dream of at her snap of her fingers. 

Noticing that the door still hasn’t opened and Yebin’s last text to Minkyung ( _‘hey are you home? i know it’s late but can we talk?’_ ) is still unread, Yebin wanders back to the front door and presses her ear against it.

She knocks again in an attempt that goes unanswered, but just as Yebin was about to leave, the door creaks open.

She whips her head around and sees a flaxen-haired boy peeking his blonde head through the gap. Yebin thinks she may have seen him at a party before, but other than that, no name comes to mind. 

He coughs. “Um, hello.”

“Is Minkyung here…?” Yebin considers if she’s at the wrong place, but no, this is definitely Minkyung’s apartment.

The boy hesitates and turns around for a moment before returning his attention to Yebin. “Why?”

Yebin scoffs. _Who is this guy and what’s he doing here?_ She tries to look past him and into the apartment, but he's taller than her and the door's only open enough for her to see half of his body. 

“Is she here or not? Can you tell her Yebin needs to talk to her?”

Suddenly, the guy’s face lights up in recognition as a grin spreads across his lips. “Oh, you’re Yebin, aren’t you? Yeah, I know you, you’re the freshie Minkyung knew in high school. Are you here to join our little _party_?”

Party? Did Minkyung throw a party without inviting her? With narrowed eyes, Yebin walks over and pushes the boy aside as she waltzes into the apartment.

He cocks his head at her with sleazy raised eyebrows and a cheshire grin. “I’m Soonyoung. Are you single?”

Yebin’s face contorts in disgust and ducks away from the blonde boy. Only now has she noticed the red around his irises.

Her nose twitches at the overpowering smell of watermelon pervading through the apartment. The lights are dimmed and she hears the faint hum of music playing from a speaker somewhere.

Soonyoung saunters back to the coffee table, where three other people sit around what Yebin realizes to be a green hookah. She belatedly recognizes one of them to be Seungcheol, an upperclassman in her department and the bartender at the warehouse party Minkyung first took her to. She watches him pull his lips away from a tube and exhale a long cloud of smoke that disappears into the air.

Visibly startled at the sight, Yebin grows anxious with every passing second she spends in the apartment. Minkyung never told her about anything like this. Why would she let this happen at her place?

Suddenly, it makes sense why Minkyung would go against opulent high-rises in favour of a cheap condo at the epitome of mediocrity – something that the Minkyung she used to know would never settle for. You can’t be toking up in a luxurious suite.

Soonyoung holds out a joint of marijuana to her. “You just gonna stand there or…? You can have this, my treat,” he winks, “but you’ll have to go to the rooftop. A few of the guys are up there already.”

Yebin gives a vigorous shake of her head as Soonyoung shrugs at his offer being declined.

So Minkyung holds drug parties now? What is this? Yebin isn’t sure whether she should be angry or worried that something like this is being kept from her, but the ever-tightening knot at the pit of her stomach grows increasingly tense.

“Where’s Minkyung?” she asks. The watermelon smell from the shisha has her head whirling. She wants to get out of there fast; despite the trouble she gets herself into, drugs were a whole nother realm that Yebin didn't dare dip her toe in. 

“In her room with Kyungwon. Approach with caution,” Soonyoung slurs. “Hey, does she share her stash with you for free? Damn, think you can sneak me some? I’ve been running low on cash lately and getting a bit jumpy with the cravings. She’s stingy, you know?”

That’s the second warning she’s gotten today. Yebin shoves Soonyoung out of the way and marches straight to Minkyung’s closed bedroom door.

Without notice, she swings the door open.

Yebin freezes at what she sees. It feels like all the air in her lungs has been knocked out of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohhh shit's about to get real in the final part...sincere thanks for all the kudos so far :)


	3. we're in trouble now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They think they've got us figured out.

In high school, Minkyung surprised Yebin in several ways.

She surprised her with her ability to change her demeanor effortlessly. From cool and refined, like a perfect daughter to take to the charity ball to impress colleagues, to wild and reckless, like a girl only seen on the silver screen. She could have anyone she wanted charmed with a mere snap of her fingers.

She surprised Yebin with her late-night calls, proposals of crazy adventures, showing up below Yebin’s window and helping her climb down without waking up her parents because Yebin always tagged along for the ride no matter what.

Minkyung had a knack for surprising Yebin until Yebin could no longer be shocked by anything she pulled.

But _this_. This was by far the biggest surprise Yebin has ever had to face in her entire life so far.

Because surely, the last thing Yebin had expected to see when she opened the door to the bedroom was not the fact that Minkyung was in there alone with Kyungwon.

It was the fact that Minkyung was in there kneeling over a short table, jet-black hair falling over her shoulders, and a straw to her nose tracing a line of white powder on the surface of a mirror.

That box Yebin had found under her bed the other day lied unlocked and opened on the table.

Yebin only remembers standing at the doorway long enough to see Minkyung tilting her head back to face the ceiling, eyes closed in euphoria and letting out a roar of laughter – one that Yebin had grown to love – before slamming the door close in shock.

She remembers stumbling out of the apartment in a daze, shoving a body or two out of the way, and calling a taxi back to her place without turning back.

**#**

Yebin can’t look her in the eyes. So she keeps her gaze on the floor, picking with a loose thread on the hem of her shirt. 

“This discussion won’t go anywhere if you don’t say anything.”

“Well you can start off on that ‘little party’ you had the other night…” Yebin mutters.

She hears Minkyung sigh. “I’m sorry, okay? It’s just something my friends and I get together to do every once in a while. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, it was something you didn’t need to know about.”

“It would’ve been nice to know that you and your friends meet up to do drugs and get high.”

“Why? It’s not that important, Yebin. What would you have done, stop it?”

“No!” Yebin spits out. She grows aware her increasingly agitated tone and takes a deep breath. “Hell, it would’ve been nice to know that you fucking snort coke.”

Because while Minkyung was a lot of things, Yebin’s always thought she was not someone who did drugs – a fervent abstinence tracing from their high school years that most likely had to do with Minkyung's parents. She could only keep so many secrets from them after all. But how naive of Yebin to think that in the year they were apart, Minkyung wouldn't change. It was a rude awakening; a blow that jolted her out of ignorance and into reality. Yebin should've figured it the day she saw all the saline bottles and nasal inhalers in her bathroom drawer. 

And it kills her when she realizes she shouldn't really be surprised. 

“I don’t feel obliged to tell you something like that.”

“Why not?! What the hell am I to you?” Yebin looks at her in the eyes this time and feels something within her ignite into a full-blown inferno. “How many times have you been high while you were around me? Do you snort a line every morning to get you through the day? The night we slept together, did you do a line before I came over too? You and Kyungwon get high before screwing each other, huh?”

Minkyung’s jaw tenses at Yebin’s onslaught of anger and assumptions. Something in her snaps and Yebin can see it in her eyes. Minkyung holds up four fingers.

“Too many to count,” Minkyung puts a finger down, “maybe I do,” and another, “maybe I did,” she takes a step closer, “and yeah, maybe we do. It's fucking amazing, you should try it sometime.” The last finger goes down with a deadly glare. 

Yebin scoffs. The poison in Minkyung's tone stings, but Yebin's too outraged to let it stir her. 

“Are you addicted or something? What the fuck is wrong with you, Minkyung?” her voice breaks and feeling the hot tears streaming down her face, Yebin hates herself for cracking this early. “Maybe if it was weed, I’d be less surprised. But _coke_? How stupid are you!? What’s next, are you going to start tripping on acid too? Shooting up heroin? Or have you started _experimenting_ with that already?”

Yebin lunges to grab her arms and have a look, pulling up Minkyung’s sleeves so harshly she almost rips the fabric. Minkyung tugs out of her hold with a huge step back as she pushes Yebin’s hands away.

“I knew you’d treat me like this,” Minkyung mutters, “like I’m some drug addict. I don’t need this from you right now.”

While Yebin’s voice grows in volume, Minkyung stays even-toned and calm and it’s got Yebin’s blood boiling beneath her skin.

“Because you are! And what you need is _help_!”

“I don’t _need_ anything, Yebin!” Minkyung fires back, “I don’t need you shaming me and I certainly don’t need your pity. I don’t need you here. This is exactly why I didn’t tell you, I knew you’d be a bitch about it!”

The aggravation in her voice has Yebin stumbling back in surprise. Although this isn’t the first time they’ve argued, Minkyung has never raised her voice at her before.

“God, we fuck once and suddenly you think I have to tell you everything,” Minkyung grumbles under her breath.

Yebin’s shoulders drop in final despondency. She’s run out of things to say.

With gritted teeth and fire in her eyes, Yebin stomps out of the apartment without a word and leaves with a forceful slam of the door.

**#**

Yebin stares wide-eyed at her ceiling. Days have passed since her and Minkyung's argument, but Yebin doesn't feel any less worse than she did before the confrontation. It doesn't help that they've been avoiding each other like the plague. Yebin never wanted this. 

Nayoung’s warning, and hell, even Soonyoung’s warning, runs through her head over and over again like a never-ending marathon where the finish line is always out of reach.

_Approach with caution… Just be careful and understanding… It’s best if you keep an open mind…_

Yebin thought facing the situation head-on would help her escape her sleepless nights, but if anything, it has worsened her insomnia. It’s beginning to affect school too and Yebin’s already skipped one too many classes, unable to drag herself out of bed every morning. 

She’s conflicted on how to feel; a part of her is still angry that Minkyung never told her, but in a way, she has a point. Why should she have told her? It’s not like they’re together. Minkyung doesn’t need to tell her anything if she doesn’t want to. And it’s not exactly information you’d tell anyone either.

And so a part of her is guilty. It feels like a beast running through her body, wracking all the thoughts in her head to wrecking mayhem at the pit of her stomach.

Suddenly, a wave of fear hits her like a hurricane on a coastline. Fear of losing Minkyung – in more ways than one.

Yebin shoots out of bed and grabs her jacket.

**#**

“I’m sorry.”

Yebin pushes past a bleary-eyed Minkyung and into her living room. The apartment is completely dark, save for the moonlight glowing through the window.

It seems like Yebin has a knack for showing up at people’s doors on short notice – or in this case, without any notice at all.

“Yebin, it’s past midnight,” Minkyung murmurs tiredly as she rubs her eyes.

“I know. And I’m sorry. But I haven’t been able to sleep and this has been eating me inside for the past few days.” Yebin paces the living room as she speaks, “I shouldn’t have let anger get the best of me. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I was just mad and surprised and I wasn’t thinking straight. And I’m sorry!”

She comes to a stop in front of Minkyung. She can’t see much in the dark, but Yebin can see her mussed up hair, her out of place bangs, and the evident exhaustion. But she could only wonder how someone could possibly look so pretty after being abruptly woken up.

“You came running all the way over here to apologize?”

“Yes. I should’ve tried to understand you and give you a chance to talk but…”

“Can you give me the chance to do that now?” Minkyung asks, as if all the tiredness suddenly departed from her body.

 

Yebin and Minkyung stood in the dark, neither bothering to turn on a lamp.

The world is silent and undisturbing, as if it quieted down for their conversation to give them privacy. Yebin feels entirely secluded and vulnerable. But it's not uncomfortable. 

“I got into it casually. It’s the only drug I do, aside from marijuana occasionally. It’s been a couple months.” Minkyung’s tired voice sounds softer in the dark. “When we fought, I lied to you because it got heated. No, I don’t do it every morning, just once or twice a week at the most. And I never do it if I know I’m meeting up with you. I’ve never been high around you. The only time was when you showed up surprisingly that one day to ask about the night we slept together. I did a line about an hour before you came. I wasn’t expecting you at all. I was still feeling a bit of it. That’s why I seemed a bit off that day...”

Yebin recalls seeing Minkyung jittery as she paced the kitchen. She had wondered if something was up, but never considered Minkyung was on drugs.

“I never told you because I feared what you’d think and how you'd react. It's a side of me that I didn't want to show you. I’m really sorry you had to see what you saw the other night, with the people smoking in my living room and...me in my room. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to see any of that.”

Yebin’s heart breaks for her as she feels her eyes start to water. 

“I’m just worried, Minkyung, how could I not be? What if something were to happen to you?”

“I have friends who I could reach if anything were to happen. But nothing will happen, please don’t worry,” Minkyung murmurs. “I’m okay, Yebin. I don’t want you getting scared for me when there’s nothing to be scared of. I know what I’m doing and I’m working on getting better.”

“I could help–”

“No, it’s okay. I got this,” Minkyung reassures her. “Please trust me.”

Yebin feels a soft hand on her cheek and a thumb wiping away a tear that falls from her eye.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that you were going to be my first time,” Yebin whispers in the dark.

For a moment, Minkyung doesn’t respond and the silence is so deafening that Yebin shuts her eyes.

“I reacted the way I did because I was surprised. You deserve a better first time than a drunken hook-up with me, Yebin.”

At that, Yebin opens her eyes to find Minkyung staring at her and this time, there's nothing ambiguous; she's distressed and apologetic and Yebin almost falters at the hurt she can see and feel. 

“Don't say that. I didn’t see it like that at all… You’re not just a nobody. I’m glad it was with you, no matter the circumstances. And I really believe I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.”

“...Why me?”

Yebin heaves a long sigh. “You mean a _hell_ of a lot to me, Minkyung. Always have," she swallows, "always will.”

“Yebin…” She tucks hair behind the shorter girl's ear because she can't think of anything to say, unable to understand what she has done to deserve someone who Minkyung feels is so out of her league. 

“Can I ask you something? I need a straightforward answer,” Yebin murmurs carefully. “What’s Kyungwon to you?”

Even in the dark, she can see Minkyung swallow.

“We used to fool around…but not anymore. Not since you’ve arrived. She’s nothing more than a friend to me,” Minkyung pauses, “she’s not like you.”

And Yebin feels like breathing out a sigh of relief, but hope appears like a lighthouse in a foggy sea and Yebin can’t let the opportunity she’s been waiting for all this time slip away.

“Do you remember that time I confessed to you in high school?” Yebin asks with a chuckle.

“Of course. That surprised me. I didn’t know you liked me like that.” Minkyung smiles.

“Well...I still do. The feelings haven’t gone anywhere. If anything,” as Yebin’s voice gradually quiets to a whisper, her eyes wander from Minkyung’s eyes, to her nose, to her lips, “...they’ve grew. A hundred more times than before. I love everything about you, Minkyung. And I’ll chase for however long it’ll take me until you let me in or turn me away. Whatever happens, I’m not going anywhere.”

Words she had kept caged in her mind fall all too easily from her tongue as feelings Yebin had been dying to express surge out in a deluge of honesty. It feels like a weight lifting off her shoulders.

Minkyung doesn’t say anything as she lets the silence and darkness engulf them.

Because she's never really been the type to express her sentiments verbally, always finding different ways to get her thoughts across.

And Yebin gets her answer when Minkyung closes the distance between them and dips her head, capturing Yebin in a gentle kiss. She’s delicate and soft and the way their lips brush sends subtle flames running under Yebin’s skin.

It’s different from the night they spent together because this time, they’re sober and clear-headed, free from influence of any alcohol or drug.

Yebin is sober but she feels intoxicated; her heart stirs in her chest and her legs tremble.

So she kisses back deeply, grips onto Minkyung’s nightshirt with one hand and tangles the other through her black hair, because this time, the moment won't be going anywhere.

**#**

Her friends tell her how happy they are for her and Yebin always replies with a genuine grin because she’s happy for herself too.

And all those times of wait and moments where she thought she had finished waiting pale in comparison to how she feels now.

Because Yebin genuinely feels like she has passed a finish line that she had been running towards for years and anything before this was just a hurdle she overcame or a checkpoint she passed.

Yebin wonders if she’ll ever get used to the butterflies in her stomach every time they kiss or the tingles Minkyung sets off every time they touch or the goosebumps that appear with the skittering of Minkyung's breath across her skin.

Seeing Minkyung’s smile feels impossibly better than before; it feels brighter and more infectious and Yebin feels like she’s falling in love all over again every time she sees it.

**#**

Minkyung surprises her after class when she finds the older girl sitting on her motorcycle in her dormitory’s parking lot.

“Hey,” Yebin greets with a content smile, resting her arms on Minkyung’s shoulders. “What’s up?”

“You’ve never given me a ride on this bad boy before.” Minkyung looks down at Yebin’s motorcycle.

Yebin smirks. “You never asked.”

Minkyung bites her lip as she gazes at Yebin, hoping her apprehension would go unnoticed. But Yebin sees the movement of her lips and she can’t help her eyes from dropping.

Giving in to the craving, she leans in to kiss Minkyung and Minkyung lets her kiss her because she feels sorry for what she’s about to ask.

“I need to ask you for a favour,” Minkyung says when they part, “which I’m going to make up to you.”

Yebin chuckles because she’ll do just about anything for Minkyung. “You don’t need to make up anything to me.”

Minkyung stands from the motorcycle and unhooks Yebin’s arms around her so she could reach to the ground and pick up a motorcycle helmet.

“Well it’s too late because I’ve already gotten you a gift.” She hands the brand new full-face helmet to the shorter girl; it’s black with a visor so darkly tinted, that no one would be able to tell who’s underneath.

Yebin gasps and breaks into a wide smile as she takes the helmet. “Oh my god. You didn’t have to do this!”

“I want you to wear it today.” Minkyung watches as Yebin puts the helmet on her head. “Can’t even tell it’s you underneath.” She chuckles.

“It’s perfect. Thank you,” comes Yebin’s muffled voice from within. She takes Minkyung's hands into her own, like a knight in a shining armour. “So, where shall I take you, my lady?”

“I’ll tell you as we’re riding,” Minkyung says as she licks her suddenly dry lips.

“Okay.” Yebin takes off the helmet and hands it back to Minkyung. “Let me get you my old helmet to wear. Can't let anything happen to you.”

Yebin gives her a wink before running off inside the building, the grin never leaving her face. Minkyung watches her as she shuffles uneasily on her feet.

**#**

“I’ll try to make this quick.”

Minkyung hops off the bike and takes off her helmet, fixing the straps of her backpack. They’re parked on the side of a small road and even though it’s midday, there’s not a car in sight. The buildings around them look old and dilapidated in neglect. It’d be odd if anyone lived here.

Yebin brings her hands to her helmet to take it off, but Minkyung reaches over and stops her.

“Don’t take off your helmet, no matter what,” Minkyung warns her. “And stay here.”

Yebin wants to worry, but Minkyung’s voice is calm and composed. She feels long slender fingers intertwine with hers in a tight reassuring squeeze before Minkyung runs off.

Yebin watches her turn into an alley, wondering why on earth they were here.

 

Minkyung is gone for a lot longer than Yebin expected. She checks her wrist watch for the umpteenth time; it’s been almost an hour already. She debates leaving her bike to look for her, but remembers Minkyung clearly telling her not to leave her spot.

So she waits and waits and loses track of time until suddenly, Minkyung comes rushing out from the alley. Yebin almost breaks her spine trying to look back at her and when Minkyung arrives at the bike, she snatches her helmet out of Yebin’s hands and places it haphazardly on her head.

“Let’s go. I want you to drop me off at my house and then I want you to go back to your place and not contact me for a while.”

Just as Yebin is about to ask what the hell is happening, Minkyung's already hugging her tightly from behind and yelling at her to go. So Yebin fires up the motorcycle and rides them out of there without a question leaving her mouth. 

**#**

Yebin is growing increasingly tired and irritated with being ignored. Despite Minkyung’s request of not being contacted, Yebin has repeatedly sent her texts that have been opened but disregarded and calls that have been snubbed and lead to voicemail.

It’s only been a few days and she’s being shut out all over again.

In exasperation, Yebin ignores Minkyung’s last request (‘ _Don’t visit me. I’ll stop by your place’_ ) and rides over to Minkyung’s apartment.

To her surprise, she finds the older girl in the parking lot packing bags into a new car Yebin has never seen before.  _New_ as in different because it certainly doesn’t look like the latest Hyundai model either.

“Minkyung? What are you doing?” Yebin practically jumps off her bike and runs over to her.

Minkyung shuts the trunk with a loud slam and turns just in time to see Yebin almost run into her.

“I told you not to come here,” Minkyung says. Noticing the fatigue in her face and the bags under her eyes, Yebin’s suddenly overwhelmed with worry. “I was just about to go and see you.”

“Where are you going? Whose car is this?”

“It’s a friend’s. I had to borrow.” Minkyung holds Yebin’s face in her calloused hands. “Listen to me, I know this won't be easy to take in, but I need to get a way for a while.” Yebin widens her eyes and grabs her arms, but Minkyung interrupts her with a fervent shake of her head before Yebin could even protest. “You can’t come and you can’t follow me.”

“What’s going on? Minkyung, what’s happening, are you okay?” Yebin’s eyes start burning with tears as she tightens her grip on Minkyung. 

“I can’t tell you, but you need to trust me. I’m sorry, Yebin, I’m sorry…”

Minkyung pulls her into a searing kiss that doesn’t last long enough for Yebin to grab a hold of her.

“You can’t just leave me like this, tell me what’s going on!” Yebin exclaims and Minkyung brings a finger to her lips as a warning to keep her voice down.

“Listen, you _cannot_ follow me, okay? You have to stay here and you can’t come looking for me.”

Minkyung begins to pull away, but Yebin’s hold on her is firm.

Tears well in her eyes as she struggles not to let her voice crack. “What happened? Please tell me, _please_.”

Minkyung lets out an exasperated sigh to compose herself because she can’t break, not now.

“I have to do this. You have to believe me, but it's for you. It’s not safe for me to stay here right now. I got into a bad mess, Yebin, and it’s all my fault so _please_ , you have to let me fix it. I’m sorry I dragged you into this. I will never forgive myself if anything happened to you. I’m sorry, but you have to trust me, you have to listen to me,” Minkyung pleads as she looks Yebin directly in the eyes. “Please, Yebin. You have to let me go.”

The desperation in her voice sets Yebin off as her tears escalate into sobs. This is not what she wanted, not what she expected at all when she wore her heart on her sleeve for one night and finally told Minkyung everything she’s ever felt about her.

“...Minkyung…”

Minkyung kisses her for one last time before pulling away from Yebin’s grasp. Shouting apologies on her way to the driver’s side, she pushes Yebin away for one last time as she slams the door close.

Yebin bangs on the window through muffled cries, but all Minkyung can do is mouth a million more sorry’s.

She doesn’t want this either, but it’s something she has to do. All she can hope is for Yebin to understand.

Minkyung pulls away from the parking lot and drives away, leaving Yebin to fall on her knees with a defeated thud.

Her tears stain her shirt and her heart takes a plunge from the edge of the cliff it had been perched on.

**#**

Kyungwon swings the door open after three deafening bangs.

"Who the hell has come knocking so violently? Ugh..." 

To her surprise, she sees Yebin on the other side looking like a complete mess; eyes swollen red, jeans dirtied at the knees, and wet splotches on her shirt.

“Holy shit. Yebin? What on earth happe–”

“Minkyung’s gone.” Yebin stomps into the apartment before Kyungwon could finish her remark. Her first instinct is anger; how could Minkyung leave her like this? It seems so selfish, does Minkyung even care about her at all?

Nayoung emerges from the kitchen wondering who has come and stops dead in her tracks when she sees Yebin fuming in their living room. 

“What?”

“Minkyung! She’s gone. She left, I don’t know where the fuck she’s going, but she just drove away and I don’t know what’s happening.”

Yebin paces their living room, rubbing her arms in worry and running her hands through her hair in near hysteria. She looks from Nayoung to Kyungwon in desperation.

Nayoung acts first.

“Okay, calm down, tell us what happened,” she starts, placing her hands on Yebin’s shoulders to stop her from pacing. She feels Yebin tremble under hold.

Yebin rambles in her explanation of the motorcycle ride she gave Minkyung a few days prior. “A-and today, I showed up at her place because I wanted an explanation, but– but I saw her packing shit into her car and then she just...drove away…”

Yebin drifts off and pulls away from Nayoung's hold, pacing nervously; back and forth, again and again. 

“Shit, I knew this would happen...” Kyungwon mutters under her breath as she crosses her arms.

Yebin freezes as she whips her head to face Kyungwon. “What? Do you know anything? Tell me!”

Nayoung and Kyungwon exchange knowing looks as Nayoung grabs Yebin's shoulders again in a tight hold. Yebin can feel her sympathy but tries to ignore it because she doesn't want pity, she wants an explanation. 

Kyungwon heaves a sigh.

“You see, Minkyung deals a bit on the side,” Kyungwon murmurs, “Just some grams of coke, sometimes marijuana. For her friends like me mostly, but she’s got some other regular clients on campus. Just a few,” she adds hastily.

“...Excuse me?”

Yebin’s eyes widen. So she's a drug dealer. Even with Minkyung not around, she still manages to knock the wind out of Yebin in surprise. And this blow might be just as bad and just as harsh as when she found out about her drug use.

So that’s what Soonyoung was talking about when he asked her about Minkyung’s ‘stash’.

“ _Excuse me_?!” Yebin repeats because her ears really can’t believe what she’s hearing.

When she thought Minkyung finally accepted her heart, all secrets were brought to the table. But this was one that she clearly failed to bring up. 

And once again, Yebin finds herself in a confusing mess of emotions. Is she supposed to feel betrayed?  Furious? Upset? Concerned above all?

Apparently, Kyungwon has read her mind. “Please don’t be angry with her. It’s easy work for a huge income and Minkyung could always use the money. She never let any of us help her.”

“…Huh? Use the money...? But she’s one of the most well-off people I know! Her parents are fucking loaded!” Yebin glares at Kyungwon in disbelief. She lets out a groan as she starts pacing again.

Kyungwon and Nayoung look at her in surprise. This is clearly new information to them.

“We never knew that...” Nayoung murmurs.

Kyungwon scoffs with a shake of her head. “Well, do they hate her or something? She must not be getting any of her parents’ money because she’s been living the same way ever since I met her on the first day of college orientation.”

All Yebin could do is stare at them wide-eyed with a defeated shrug of her shoulders. She shakes her head; just how much has Minkyung kept from her?

“Hm, now that I think about,” Kyungwon snickers, “Minkyung does seem like the type to have mommy and daddy issues–“

Kyungwon doesn’t get to finish her remark because Yebin comes charging at her, grabbing a fistful of her shirt in outrage.

“Is this a fucking _joke_ to you?! Minkyung is gone! She calls you her best friend, but you don’t even give a shit about what has happened to her!”

Nayoung grabs Yebin’s shoulder and pries her away from Kyungwon before someone gets injured.

“I _do_ care about her,” Kyungwon mutters as she smooths out her shirt. Finding Nayoung glaring at her, she continues, “I’m sorry. I say stupid stuff sometimes. I care about her as much as you do, Yebin.”

Yebin heaves as she takes a step back, begging for explanation about Minkyung because clearly, there are too many things she doesn’t know.

“Who knew Minkyung came from a rich family… Once, she had to stay with us for a month because her landlord kicked her out for falling behind on the rent," Nayoung admits. 

That jolts Yebin out of her delirium as she feels a sudden pang of ache in her heart. This was yet another thing Minkyung has kept from her. Her home, her car…no wonder she lives so differently from when she knew her in high school. What happened? Mr. and Mrs. Kim were always so nice to Yebin…

“And she didn’t even want to stay with us because she thought she’d be a burden. We had to _drag_ her in. That stubborn dumbass really thought she’d survive sleeping in the streets...god,” Kyungwon grimaces at the memory. “She doesn’t let us help her. Drug dealing may not be ideal, but it helps her more than we could,” Kyungwon pauses, “besides, she also provides us with the good stuff so...”

Nayoung lets go of Yebin momentarily to throw a punch at Kyungwon for her unwanted last remark.

“But she’s been trying to get out of it,” Nayoung adds hastily before Yebin jumps Kyungwon again. “It’s an easy business to fall into and a hard one to get out of – just like the drugs they sell, which is why I _don’t_ do them unlike the brainless idiots I surround myself with.” Nayoung glares at Kyungwon. “But she’s been trying, Yebin. Trust me. And I think it’s because of you.”

Yebin feels her eyes well up again but she shakes them away and clenches her fists. “And so? What now!? Isn’t there something I could do? Can’t we help her?”

“What did she tell you before she left?” Kyungwon asks.

“She told me not to follow or find her–”

“Then there’s nothing we can do.”

“What?!”

“It’s _risky_ , Yebin–“

“I’d do it for Minkyung!”

Kyungwon narrows her eyes. “You and her are alike in many ways.”

“There’s gotta be something we can do.” Yebin turns to Nayoung, panic in her tone.

With pleading eyes, Kyungwon begs her to talk some sense into Yebin.

Nayoung sighs. “You have to calm down. Kyungwon is right, there’s nothing we can do.”

And before Yebin could go on another yelling tirade at them, Kyungwon quickly interjects. 

“Minkyung told me a few days ago that she got herself into a small mess. She didn't want to worry you so she didn't tell you. I assume it’s got something to do with her supplier, but I'm not sure,” Kyungwon murmurs. “This is _real shit_ , Yebin. If you or any of us get involved, the only thing it’ll do is worsen the situation. If you really want to help Minkyung, then you have to listen to what she said.”

Yebin’s shoulders drop dejectedly as she falls to the floor, burying her head in her hands. Nayoung bends down to offer a sympathetic caress on her back. Her heart breaks for the girl; she can only imagine how distressed Yebin must feel.

“Minkyung is the type to never ask for help. If she said she’ll fix this herself, then she will in due time. You have to trust her. It’s all any of us can do right now.”

“...How can I trust her when she has kept this much from me…?”

Because Yebin knows she has wasted too many tears on this girl, but she's always had trouble getting her heart and brain to cooperate. 

“She kept it from you because she cares, Yebin,” Kyungwon says, her tone now a lot softer and understanding. “One day, you’ll understand it too. If Minkyung’s already made it this far, then she’s got a lot of time ahead of her. Please trust her, she _will_ come back for you. I know she will. And _please_ , I know it won't be easy, but you have to stop worrying or else it’s just gonna eat you up inside ‘til you can’t take it anymore and do something really stupid.”

Yebin wants to scoff at the irony of the statement, but she’s too exhausted, too hurt, too overwhelmed to do anything but curl up into a ball.

Her heart aches for Minkyung. Yebin hates that there’s nothing she can do but let time heal and put her trust into someone who has turned her life upside down, building paradise before wrecking it down. 

So she cries on the living room floor with two hands patting her back in fruitless sympathy.

Thoughts swim in her mind, particularly of the moon’s reflection in Minkyung’s eyes when they stood in the dark and let each other in, sinking deeper and deeper. Her walls crumble and her heart breaks.

**#**

A few weeks later, Yebin’s phone buzzes with an interrupting notification. Yebin sighs. 

“I think my presentation partner is getting restless with her texts. I’ll call you later, Jieqiong.”

She hangs up and checks the message. It’s from an unidentified number.

 

‘ _i'm sorry._ _i’m doing okay. counting the days til i see you again...wait for me? i will tell you everything, i promise. i'm really sorry. -m’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> end...  
> thank you so much for all the kudos, i'm very happy :)


	4. 3:26. epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise? or not. this epilogue was actually planned from the start. the real dramatic finale. enjoy, pals

 

“I know, I know. My dad’s coming to pick up my stuff in a few hours. I’m riding the motorcycle home.”

Yebin smiles goodbye to a boy passing by; she didn’t know his name, just the fact that he lived in the floor below her and there was always a stench of pizza coming from his room every time she’d pass by. She would see him again in a few months. With her phone tucked between her ear and her shoulder, Yebin wheels her suitcase down the foyer of her dormitory.

It’s the emptiest she’s ever seen the building, but Yebin waited as late as possible to move out just so she wouldn’t be part of the disorder and chaos of everyone trying to leave at the same time.

Her first year of college passed by just like that; it could’ve gone a lot better than it did, but all that matters is that she passed all her courses and won’t be needing to drop out anytime soon.

There’s that at least.

Other than the painfully blatant fact that her girlfriend dipped and left town with barely a goodbye a few weeks into the school year, Yebin would say it wasn’t such a _bad_ year after all.

She freezes in front of the doors and sighs. Alright, that’s a lie; it hasn’t been that great of a year at all.

Yebin dealt with the situation as best as she could, but the undeniable feeling of _something_ missing was unbearable.

Deleted contact, deleted pictures, _deleted_ in every possible way and her name treated as a taboo until Yebin grew numb and would no longer want to burst into tears at the mere mention of ‘Minkyung’.

But god, it felt like trying to ignore a relentless and unforgiving migraine. Could she rip her heart out anymore?

Kyungwon and Nayoung served as great distractions – not _that_ kind of distraction, no, Yebin stayed away from any relationships other than platonic ones for the entire school year. She wasn't ready. Nor was she technically single anyways. The ambiguity of her relationship with Minkyung after she ran away bothered– or  _bothers_ – Yebin to no end. She had had enough of stressing over uncertainty. 

So, out of sight and out of mind. Yebin would always choose to change the subject whenever her personal dating life would be brought up.

In the meantime, Kyungwon and Nayoung were great distractions as friends and upperclassmen. A relationship probably fostered out of pity for Yebin, but well, what could she do when she looked sad for months and no one else wanted to approach the sad-looking girl.

Nayoung became a lot less intimidating; Yebin actually finds her kind of cute nowadays. It’s a shame she's graduating from college already, but Yebin hopes they keep in touch. On the other hand, she now has Kyungwon; still as far as ever from being silver-tongued, but at least she figured out quickly never to complain around Yebin about the 'one and only dealer she trusted disappearing'. 

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I kinda miss you,” followed by a groan, “just come back already.”

Eunwoo’s voice from the other end of the call has Yebin chuckling. On the bright side, she’d be seeing her friends again soon. Yebin wished everyday that she had followed them instead of someone who ended up leaving her in the dust.

“Jung Eunwoo misses me? Oh man, I gotta get over there _real_ fast then!” Yebin exclaims into her phone. “I’ll call you guys again later when I’m about to leave. In the meantime, there’s some stranger leaning on my bike. Who do they think they are? Ugh, gotta go.”

Yebin quickly hangs up her phone and huffs at the figure by her motorcycle. Leaving her luggage at the foyer, she jogs out of the building towards the parking lot.

“Hey! Excuse me? Get off my moto–“

The figure turns around and Yebin stops in her tracks so abruptly, she almost loses her balance and falls to the ground.

Black hair – cut, but still long – and bangs, towering height and the same sharp eyes that Yebin could recognize from afar.

Yebin widens her eyes. Is this a dream or is she hallucinating? It can’t be… It can't be. It's not fair.

But the girl blinks, bites her lip apprehensively, and then something in Yebin snaps like a rubber band that could no longer be stretched any more than it was. An irrepressible eruption of fury engulfs her entire being.

Suddenly, Yebin runs towards her and pushes.

She shoves Minkyung as hard as she could. She punches her arms, hits her on the shoulders, pushes and pushes until they’re halfway down the parking lot now completely vacant of cars except her motorcycle.

Yebin grits her teeth and channels all the anger she had been restraining for months into her shoves and her punches.

“What the fuck are _you_ doing here!?” she screams between pushes, “How could you fucking leave me in the dust!?” another shove, “And then have the _audacity_ to text me that stupid message asking me to wait for you!”

Yebin doesn’t stop shoving her as they slowly move further down the parking lot. Her shouts echo against the silence that had descended.

“But I waited for you anyways! You had me worried to _death_ , do you know all the work I did to find you?! I asked and looked everywhere! I couldn’t _sleep_! Kyungwon and Nayoung had to physically force me to stop and I had to because it was between _you_ and my studies!” Yebin stops shoving to glare at her in the eyes. “And you know what I realized? That I was wasting my time for you. I waited _months_!”

She starts pushing again, rougher this time. Yebin is fuming with no intention to gain control over her rage any time soon.

“You disappeared off the face of the earth and then suddenly…suddenly, you…” Yebin gulps down her anger, staring at Minkyung in disbelief. “You waltz right back...how? How can you just fucking show up out of the blue?! Right here? Right now?! Where the fuck did you _go_?! You selfish, stupid, and inconsiderate _bitch_!”

And Minkyung lets herself be hit. She takes in all the shoving and the punching, all the pent-up anger and outrage, all the fury in Yebin’s words through her tightly gritted teeth and the fire in her eyes.

Because Minkyung knows it’s what she deserves.

The more tired Yebin grows, the weaker her punches get and suddenly, she breaks into tears as she buries her head into Minkyung’s chest.

Yebin is the angriest she has ever felt, but at the same time, the wave of relief that comes crashing is so overwhelming, that she wants to collapse to the ground.

But Minkyung’s arms hold her up and Yebin comes to the realization of just how much she’s been missing her. 

It’s too much for her to take in.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” comes in a quiet timid voice muffled by tears, “I’m sorry, Yebin, I’m sorry…I'm _so, so_ sorry…”

Strangely, the scene is much like the one from all those months ago when Minkyung first left her.

A million apologies from one, the other crying her eyes out on the pavement.

It’s eerily similar, except no one’s going anywhere as Minkyung whispers all her sorry’s into Yebin’s hair and Yebin sobs all her bottled up emotions into Minkyung’s shoulder.

**#**

Minkyung had only been in Yebin’s dorm room a handful of times. The residence advisor was strict on visitors and the younger girl preferred going over to her place anyways.

Now seeing it devoid of Yebin’s textbooks and school supplies, walls bare of posters and photographs of Yebin’s smiling face with her friends, and the building nearly empty, Minkyung feels almost uncomfortable at the silence engulfing them.

She stands awkwardly in the middle of the room as Yebin remains by the door she had slammed shut just a few minutes prior.

Yebin didn’t dare look her in the eyes, keeping her attention on the empty floor instead. From her demeanor, Minkyung can still sense the last vestiges of her anger, but Yebin has calmed down considerably from her burst in the parking lot.

Yebin is the first to break the silence with a question Minkyung had not really been expecting considering all the punches she just rolled with in the parking lot.

“…Are you okay?”

“I’m okay. Are you?”

Yebin ignores her question. “Please,” she begs quietly instead, “give me an honest explanation.”

So Minkyung takes in a deep breath and gives her one.

She was a dealer – that much Yebin knew – for a couple months. She had been stealing cocaine from her distributor, a few extra grams here and there, and lied about her sales. Minkyung was keeping more money than she was supposed to and taking more drugs than what she was allowed.

Minkyung was taking advantage of the freedom her distributor had granted her and she explains that truthfully, it was only a matter of time until she got caught. It was a mistake she regretted from the start, but kept digging her own grave anyways.

“Seems like you have a knack for breaking people’s trust,” Yebin murmurs bitterly, to which Minkyung winces but doesn’t deny.

“I got greedy,” Minkyung fiddles with her fingers, “like my parents.”

At that mention, Yebin’s head snaps up and returns Minkyung’s stare for the first time since they arrived in Yebin’s room.

“They cut me off,” Minkyung explains upon seeing the worried curiosity on Yebin's face. “Before my first year, they furnished me a nice apartment to use. While I was in class, they went to the place for an abrupt visit and found my drugs. It was my own stupid mistake for leaving them around…”

When Yebin doesn’t say anything, Minkyung continues, “They cut ties with me the moment I fessed up and took away my allowance and the apartment. They wouldn’t even let me explain. I haven’t talked to them since. But I’ve always been a pretty shitty daughter anyways so…”

And _finally_ Yebin figures out why Minkyung has been living independently and self-sufficiently. The reaction of Minkyung’s parents comes as no surprise to her, unfortunately, and she knew they would eventually hear of Minkyung’s delinquent streak. It was just a matter of when and how bad.

Minkyung couldn’t look her in the eyes as she talked. “Thankfully, I had enough in my savings to last me a few months and get myself a new place. But I didn’t really know what I was doing…I was suddenly thrown aside after being overindulged my entire life. I fell into dealing quite impulsively, but I was earning a lot.”

“And so? What happened with your distributor?” Yebin asks tentatively.

“I owed them money I didn’t have so…I sold my car. That’s why I needed a ride from you that day.”

Yebin remembers it too vividly. A brand new helmet as a gift and a request for a ride. She just wanted to take Minkyung on a nice ride around the city with her chin on Yebin's shoulder and her arms around Yebin's waist. It was the last day she felt genuinely happy before everything, as she puts it so eloquently, turned to shit.

She frowns at the memory and feels a sudden pang in her chest when she realizes that Minkyung had bought her that helmet (which Yebin, by the way, had trashed in a bout of anger after Minkyung had left – an impulsive act she now regrets) with money that could’ve gone to her life-threatening debt.

“I didn't want to ask you for a ride, but I was in a rush and I had no other choice. I’m sorry for dragging you into it like that…” Minkyung murmurs, “I paid them, but they suddenly demanded more money. I told them I didn’t have anymore so they offered an alternative,” she shuffles uneasily on her feet, “Um, my distributor…he was a big guy, very smug, you see, and um, he was also a pimp…”

Yebin brings a hand to her mouth at the realization. “Oh my god…”

“D-don’t worry, I refused the offer,” Minkyung adds hastily upon seeing Yebin’s horrified reaction. “But they yelled at me and I-I panicked, I pulled out a gun, b-but I didn’t shoot anyone, okay, t-they took it from me and demanded I get out and give them the cash or else–“

“You have a fucking _gun_?!” Yebin almost shouts.

Dread fills her up immediately as she breaks into a groan and buries her face in her hands. It's like blow after blow with each bombshell more awful than the previous one. As if things couldn't sound any worse than it already was, Minkyung always _somehow_ manages to drop her a bolt from the blue. 

Tears begin streaking Minkyung’s cheeks as she stands frozen in the middle of the room, watching Yebin pace back and forth. Her voice breaks down into stuttered mumbles.

“I’m sorry, Yebin, I-I never meant to drag you into this.”

She watches as Yebin almost falls into her bed, as if her legs had suddenly gotten weak and could no longer hold her up.

“I couldn’t stay here,” Minkyung rambles, “they were after me, Yebin. I had to distance myself from everyone. These were dangerous guys who would’ve done anything to get the money from me, even if that meant harming the people I cared about. S-so I couldn’t be here, Yebin…I had to go. I couldn’t let them hurt you and I’m sorry, but I had to do what I did to keep you safe, even if it meant hurting you. I’m sorry…”

Yebin’s overwhelmed. This was not what she expected, but she didn’t really know what to expect either. The deluge of honesty and information has her dumbfounded to silence. When Yebin listened to her heart and followed her high school crush and best friend to college, ending up in such a twisted and dangerous mess was the last thing she expected nor wanted.

Because while Minkyung was all mischief and trouble, Yebin never really imagined the ramifications of their actions.

But life has its consequences and only now has she snapped out of her high school naivety, realizing that real life comes at you fast and you either deal with it or you fall behind.

Fear is one of the worst things she has ever had to feel.

“How are you now?” Yebin looks up at Minkyung, a tinge of desperation in her voice.

“I’ve taken care of it. They’re off my back. For now,” Minkyung admits sheepishly as she rubs her arms, “I’m working to support myself. It’s…not easy. Um, I’m still dealing a bit for the money. Don't worry, I found a different distributor. I’m not in the greatest place, truthfully...and my situation’s not helping me kick off my coke habit…”

Yebin suddenly rises from the bed. “I can help.”

Minkyung looks up to meet her eyes in alarm. “No, no, I can’t drag you in any more than I already have.”

“…Then why are you here?”

Minkyung blinks at the forward remark, but Yebin’s gaze on her is unrelenting.

Minkyung swallows. “I missed you.”

A quiet confession, but the sincerity rings out crystal clear.

“I wanted to come back. So badly, Yebin, believe me. But I knew I couldn’t. So I had to be patient,” Minkyung shuffles on her feet, “I guess I just wanted to see you again before I…”

Yebin opens her mouth to say something, but closes it before any word could get out. Minkyung sees her clench her fists as Yebin drops her gaze to the floor once again.

A few minutes of deafening silence pass by before they know it and soon, the atmosphere begins feeling stuffy and uncomfortable again. Minkyung wonders if she has overstepped her boundary. Was it right to even show up today? Was it hopelessly naïve of her to think that Yebin would give her another chance?

So Minkyung bites her lip and waits a few more agonizing seconds to which not a word is said before making up her mind. She turns towards the door.

But before she could leave, a hand on her arm stops her from taking even one step. She turns to find Yebin staring at her. There’s too much hurt flashing in her eyes, but her grip is firm and her gaze is almost child-like.

 “…Just like that?” Yebin murmurs. “You’re just going to run away again?”

Minkyung returns her gaze and gulps down the lump in her throat. Her eyes start to water, but before the tears come streaming again, Minkyung swoops in to kiss Yebin.

Because she’s been yearning her lips for months and she’s never really learned how to tell Yebin how much she feels for her except through her actions. 

And Yebin kisses back because she’s _always_ felt this was how things are supposed to be. She remembers Minkyung first telling her that their reunion was fated to happen and despite everything that has happened, fate never wavers.

They’re not supposed to be apart. Minkyung and Yebin, Yebin and Minkyung. That’s how Yebin has always felt and she knows unequivocally that Minkyung feels the same way.

It felt right. 

However, Minkyung breaks the kiss apart too soon with a shake of her head.  

“I shouldn’t do this,” she mumbles, “you deserve someone far better, you’ve always deserved someone better.”

But she’s too awfully transparent and it’s clear to Yebin just how much it hurt Minkyung to say those words.

Despite Minkyung avoiding her gaze, Yebin’s hold on her arms keeps her firmly in place. She looks up at the taller girl shaking her head, trying desperately to hold back tears.

Kim Minkyung, a beguiling marvel, a vision in ebony; Yebin’s dream and the root of all her passion. Never had she felt so much for another person. Minkyung had an effect on her like no other, despite everything that she had done and all the hurt that she had caused.

Her resolve strengthens with restrained sentiments that come back to her. Most of all, Yebin is relieved; Minkyung stands in front of her physically unharmed. A few scratches here and there, but it could be worse. Minkyung could be dead. Yebin feels herself weakening at just the mere thought of losing Minkyung forever.

Letting go is a difficult thing, but how cruel it would be to relinquish when you’re most needed.

So Yebin shuts up Minkyung’s mindless babbling about how she’s not good enough with a brief but resolute kiss.

“Stop…stop talking,” Yebin murmurs into her lips. “I don’t want anyone better. I want you.”

Minkyung tries to pull away. “Yebin, I’m a _wreck_ who kept secrets from you–“

“Just shut up! Yeah, you are. But you don’t have to be any more.”

“I can’t keep hurting you like this–“

"Minkyung!” her shout startles Minkyung into silence. “…Do you even like me? Did you _ever_ like me!?”

And Minkyung almost winces at the sudden heartache that spreads her in chest because how could Yebin ask such a thing, how stupid Minkyung must’ve been acting for all her affections to be doubted.

“Of-of course,” Minkyung stammers. “I love you. More than anyone.”

Yebin falters because it’s the first time Minkyung has ever told her she loved her verbally – through her words, not her actions.

“Then stop running away from me. No more lies. No more secrets. Stop saying you don’t want to harm me. You always think _your_ actions are for the best, but _please_ , Minkyung!” Yebin shouts, “Listen to me for once!”

Minkyung doesn’t stop her tears from falling as she gazes at Yebin with wet eyes. “I-I’m listening.”

Shoulders dropping, Yebin lets go of her grasp on Minkyung’s arm as her voice lowers to almost a murmur.

How ironic that Minkyung was the boldest and, at the same time, the most cowardly person she knew.

“I told you I’d never leave you and I meant it. Don’t you dare make me plead for you to stay when it’s _you_ who should be begging for me...”

Minkyung trembles as she lowers her head to stare at the ground in shame. Yebin’s words were awfully honest.

“I know. You’re right. And I’m sorry,” she says between muffled sobs, “I don’t want to lose you.”

Minkyung suddenly clutches on to Yebin’s shirt as she falls to her knees, never once raising her head to look at Yebin.

Yebin lets out a shaky sigh and grabs her arms with her own trembling hands. She pulls Minkyung up to her feet.

“Stop acting so pathetically,” she feels her own eyes start to water again as she looks at Minkyung’s head still hung low. “Damn it, Kim Minkyung, just say you want help! You can’t do this alone, it’s not a battle you can fight yourself. For once in your life, _please_ stop being so selfish thinking you’re being selfless and _ask for help_! Fix your relationships. With your family. And with me.”

Yebin brings a hand to her chin as she lifts up Minkyung’s head. She finds a pretty face pervaded by splotches, smudged makeup, and streaks of tears; a face of hopelessness and self-pity, defeated to a crumbling pile. It’s a heartbreaking sight.

Yebin stares back at those glassy dark brown irises. “Please. Let me help you.”

Minkyung licks her dry lips and then pulls Yebin into a hug. Yebin can feel Minkyung’s formerly indestructible walls collapse as she’s finally let in. She can feel all the exhaustion in her body, like a heavy gray cloud over their heads. Yebin wraps her arms around Minkyung.  

“Okay,” Minkyung whispers into her hair with a tired surrendering sigh, “I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you, all the hurt and the heartache I've caused. Now I need you, Yebin...I need you.”

Yebin caresses her hair as they hold on to each other in the empty room. They tighten their embrace, but not from fear of losing either one – rather, in solace and comfort, in genuine love and support that had been lost through selfish misgivings and qualms.

“We’re gonna get you out of this. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”

“…And I won’t leave you again,” Minkyung murmurs, “I promise.”


End file.
